Abu Dhabi: On Wealth and Regulation

 I come to you with the sage wisdom gleaned from a whole week here. Near expert by now.

And I don’t have answers to all my questions, but I have informed my opinion a bit. As I mentioned previously, UAE and the rest of the Arab Monarchies get a lot of shade and rhetoric about how it’s only a matter of time before their people insist upon representation and democracy. And I’ve posited that that may, in fact, be total bull shit. Read on for mind-blowing argument:

People don’t protest, demand representation and topple regimes if they’re satisfied, fulfilled, have their basic needs met and feel reasonably assured that their children will enjoy the same. If there is a secret recipe that sparks a democratic revolution, UAE is missing all the ingredients. They aren’t even in the kitchen. They actually looked down the hallway at the kitchen, thought to themselves “Meh” and went out to a 7-star restaurant instead to eat Indo-Mexican-Polynesian fusion food.

We also make a mistake by assuming the rest of the world should follow our democratic example. Don’t lie. You know you feel that way a little bit. We really don’t set a perfect example and people in the gulf are sensitive to how vulnerable they are to radical Islam. There is a pervasive fear that, if the monarchy peacefully disbanded tomorrow and they held a vote, the Muslim Brotherhood would be in power by week’s end. And that is categorically unacceptable to most people.

My impression is that they also trust the royal family to look out for the citizenry.

Which brings me to a slightly darker point – the citizenry. More than 9 million people live in UAE, but 91% are not citizens. They are expatriates. The bulk of which make up the massive labor force that keeps this glitz wheel turning. The high standard of living here is only made possible because Emiratis are outnumbered 11 to 1. Emiratis do not clean hotel rooms, drive taxis, work in retail, labor on construction sites, build roads or skyscrapers. They do not work in child care. They do not flip burgers at McDonalds.

Furthermore, the vast labor force that keeps this whole Gucci-Prada-Maserati-Saffron-diamond-rusted circus going is so phenomenally disenfranchised, it’s borderline insane.  

The UAE government makes it downright impossible to step out of line.  Take, for example, the cab drivers. Their cabs are regulated, like back home, but in a way that I’ve never seen. When you get in the cab, a little voice, in English, reminds you to fasten your seatbelt and cautions that if you should find you are dissatisfied with your driver (not that he’s unsafe, but just dissatisfied) you can report him at any time and then provides contact info. If he speeds, it beeps loudly. If he wanders to a zone or part of the city that he is not permitted to drive (by what phantom governing body, I don’t know), the system shuts down and stops counting his fare and gouges his profits.

Like a little Garmin Gestapo.

I read a story in the paper the other morning about a woman from Philippines who came here on contract to work for a pizza restaurant. She quit, claiming he had her working additional hours at his home. Right, cool, fair, my little American brain thought. “The guy was being unreasonable, so she quit her job.” Hell, you don’t even need a reason in the states.

Oh, silly Allie. It is not so simple. Apparently she had to go in to hiding, under threat of arrest and imprisonment for running out on her contract. Apparently she “owes” this guy for whatever he planned to make while she was working for him. Ridiculous. She has kids. CHILDREN back in Philippines. Why not just deport her if you’re so annoyed? But no. Arrest and imprisonment.

The story was actually about this “fabulously generous anonymous benefactor in Dubai who came to her aid” and paid off the supposed “debt.” And you were supposed to read it and go “Wow! What a neat guy!”

No. Not my response. That is not neat. That is indentured slavery. 

And it the over-regulation and imposition of control is not limited to people coming from the developing world. One of the guys I’ve been working with at the hotel is from London. He tried to move this weekend and was told he couldn’t because he hadn’t acquired the necessary approval. He had to apply to move. He had to APPLY. To the GOVERNMENT. To move his OWN stuff out of his OWN apartment. I moved two weeks ago. I borrowed a truck and was done with it in 2 hours. ‘Muricah. 

This system ensures the small, wealthy citizenry stays small and wealthy. They get all the government subsidies and free amenities. A small, elite welfare class.

It can’t be a total sham. People clearly want to work here. It’s safe, clean, standard of living has to be reasonable across the board (although I have mixed information on that).  Part of the reason it’s so safe is the risk to perpetrators of even petty theft has to be through the roof, but hey, the system works. I could leave my laptop, iphone and maybe my first born at this table I’m writing from. For half a day. And come back and find them still sitting here.

I really hope no one is afraid of me. I’m really hoping all my congenial interactions with the people working here are because they are actually genuinely nice interactions, not that they’re all just terrified I’m going to turn on them and complain that my coffee is too hot or my wallet’s gone missing.

And the citizens themselves seem very nice. I don’t get leered at, like in Egypt, and I feel comfortable in public. It must be a side effect of being outnumbered by expats 11 to 1, but I don’t feel unwelcome at all.  Or even so much like a “guest.” Just part of the scenery.

It just all brings up some very serious questions for me. About what wealth, like this, like we probably aspire to back home, actually costs. I don’t think the gains outweigh the losses. I’m trying to stay objective and keep an open mind, but it’s getting hard. Really really hard. 

But I wonder, even though UAE doesn't exhibit the typical signs of fomenting democratic revolution, I wonder what happens to the recipe when you add in a disenfranchised immigrant class of this size. Of this magnitude. UAE is kidding themselves if they don't recognize the risk and have a more diverse approach than "Regulate and control everyone within an inch of their sanity because that will save us." They are outnumbered 11 to 1. It doesn't feel like a powder keg here, but they don't even need to be on the verge with these numbers. A couple missteps on the part of the ministries, some bad PR and an igniting event and they could have a . . . serious problem. For lack of a better term.