Back in PDX
I've been home for just over a week now. I wanted to write a follow up post from Amsterdam, but I just couldn't get the words out for some reason. So here are my thoughts, mostly in anecdotal form, after Egypt.
Anywhere you travel, people are sensitive about their homeland's shortfalls. As a Portlander, I'm careful to empathize with visitors about the rain pretty much at every turn. And I'm very willing to indulge in their observations about our obsessive recycling and politeness, and our rampant hipster culture. Oh, and the homeless. In Cairo, they're very sensitive about the media's representation of their city. Any American with half a frontal lobe knows the media is sensationalist. Forget their scope, it is beyond their capacity to represent anything with sober rationale. But from the Ambassador down to the cab driver, everyone made the point to either ask me if I felt safe, or to expound on the media's misrepresentation.
They also wanted to apologize for the traffic. Which is TERRIBLE. Cairo is only twice the size of Portland, and like Portland, centered by the river so it is a long and narrow city. But there are (depending on who you ask) 18 million inhabitants, and then another 3 - 5 million that commute each day. Traffic lights are few and far between, and currently only flash yellow. Parking is totally unregulated, so cars park three deep to the curb and there are teams of men who just hang out all day to push cars around like a game of Tetris. No one ever sets their parking break and everyone's bumper looks like a Jackson Pollock. Lanes are painted, but no one uses them and just packs in. 4 cars wide on a 2 lane road. Driving 1 mile takes 45 minutes. The traffic moves so slowly, the joke is "You can get delivery faster than you can get an ambulance." And everyone delivers by the way. I could have broken my leg, called an ambulance and a KFC, ordered a "spicy shrimp wrap" which I saw advertised by an Egyptian Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow impersonator, and finish it before the ambulance ever got to my street.
The traffic wasn't terribly annoying though, because it gave me time to take it all in. It was tourism gold. But it didn't work. Driving around Cairo represents a failed, or faltering system. I was so grateful for ODOT when I got home, that I didn't even balk at the ticket that awaited my return. Apparently in the pre-Christmas fury, I ran a yellow light. I'm not going to say that I would have donated the money on my own, but as I walked in to the Beaverton Municipal Court to pay the fine, my frustrations were assuaged by the knowledge that at least I was supporting, albeit forcefully, a system that works for its people. That system is broken in Egypt, and money has a hard time getting where it's supposed to go, if you know what I mean.
Another really clear memory - They thought I brought a bomb to the hotel. Wait, it's not quite as Mission Impossible as it sounds. I got a frenzy of really frantic calls one day about a package, sent to my name, that was scanning all black except for what looked like wires. Actually, what was more likely was that someone had caught wind that an NGO was hosting an event at the hotel and they had tried to smuggle a bomb through using my name. Anyway, three big dudes in suits intercepted me in the lobby and escorted me outside to the scanner. They all hovered while I explained that I had no idea what was in the package. They were very professionally lighthearted, but I could tell were only slightly amused by my wit and charm. And I'm pretty damn charming and witty sometimes, so I don't know what the hell that was about . . . Sure enough, we looked at the scan and it came up completely dark except for what looked like thousands of wires around the edges. When they asked if they could open the package in front of me, I tried to veil my quiet panic. Remember only a few days ago, the SCAF had raided a bunch of NGO offices.
So I'll color the picture again for you. Me, a box and three giant security representatives without necks. All smiling politely and suspiciously at me, dressed in designer suits. All in front of a major 5 star hotel on the main drag in Cairo. Also, the opening dinner of the conference was scheduled to start in two hours. Also, all our Execs and Board members were arriving in front of me as this was going down. Also, I was already super stressed. Also, I peed a little. They sliced open the package with a box cutter, which I thought was a tad reckless under the circumstances. The one guy reached in and pulled out hand fulls of red rubber bracelets. Like the Live Strong bracelets, only these were a gender awareness promotion item. They say "Use a Gender Approach" on them. The image of the giant security professional, giggling at me with a hand full of bracelets is something I will probably hold on to for a long while.
I'll also probably hold on to my final evening in Cairo. I went to dinner with a couple co-workers who live in Colombia, and another who lives in Haiti. I dragged them all to a really fabulous restaurant on the Nile. It's called Sequoia. If you're ever there, it's open air, on the tip of Zamalek, the weather is almost always great and the food is actually fairly priced and smacked of Egyptian tradition.
Also joining us were a couple of local guys who had studied in the States. One of which was working for then presidential candidate, Abdel-Moneim Abul-Fotouh from the Muslim Brotherhood. It was wonderful picking their brains. They both apologized for the traffic, and tried to convince me that the media was misrepresenting the dangers in Cairo. I, again, told them not to be concerned. That I was familiar with the phenomenon. They then said "No. Seriously . . . " and launched another campaign for Egypt. Apparently they didn't believe that I believed them.
We jumped on politics for a little while and I was most interested in the presidential race. I was surprised when the one said that, yes he thought the candidate he was working for should be elected, but he was also adamant that it should only be for one term.. When I asked why, it was explained to me that whether it should or it shouldn't be, religion was VERY important in Egypt. That people found safety and security in Islam. That even though many Egyptians do not practice, or do not observe Islam at all, they would still be inclined to support an Islamic presidential candidate, because it guaranteed something about the candidates morals and ethics.
I really don't want to get political with this blog, because that's not what it's about, but I think many Americans, if they were truly honest with themselves, would make the same observation about the role Christianity plays in our election process. Even now, as we're working on selecting a Republican candidate. I feel like I've uncovered what might be a universal human proclivity. Whether it's Christianity or Islam, if the man has religion, he has our trust. I know we are kicking up a lot of dust around this "Islamist leader" thing in the States, due in large part to our paranoia about sharia law. But do you think for a second that a candidate would stand a chance in America if he were to claim to be Athiest? Or Agnostic? Not a snowball's chance in imaginary hell. And on the topic of sharia law, it's a vague comparison, but would we ever elect a President who was, say for example, Pro Gay Marriage, Pro Choice, Pro Legalize-it? If you've just shrugged or given a non-committal "maybe" noise, you're friggin dumb. And apparently Egypt is no different.
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the revolution in Egypt and there was a ton of editorializing on how far Egypt hasn't come. How there is still a long road ahead. Well I have news for you all: In the American quest for Democracy, we're not doing too well either my friends. It would be a mistake to point the finger and tell the Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Syrians . . . to use us as the glowing example. And I know you've thought about it. Stop it.
To sum up my three weeks in Egypt, I learned a ton, I ate a lot, I now know that I really like molokhia (I'm not recommending it to ANYONE else though because it's basically plant snot) and I don't think I'm going back to Egypt for tourist purposes for at least another 20 years. I'm kind of stoked to see what they do with the next 20 years though.
Anywhere you travel, people are sensitive about their homeland's shortfalls. As a Portlander, I'm careful to empathize with visitors about the rain pretty much at every turn. And I'm very willing to indulge in their observations about our obsessive recycling and politeness, and our rampant hipster culture. Oh, and the homeless. In Cairo, they're very sensitive about the media's representation of their city. Any American with half a frontal lobe knows the media is sensationalist. Forget their scope, it is beyond their capacity to represent anything with sober rationale. But from the Ambassador down to the cab driver, everyone made the point to either ask me if I felt safe, or to expound on the media's misrepresentation.
They also wanted to apologize for the traffic. Which is TERRIBLE. Cairo is only twice the size of Portland, and like Portland, centered by the river so it is a long and narrow city. But there are (depending on who you ask) 18 million inhabitants, and then another 3 - 5 million that commute each day. Traffic lights are few and far between, and currently only flash yellow. Parking is totally unregulated, so cars park three deep to the curb and there are teams of men who just hang out all day to push cars around like a game of Tetris. No one ever sets their parking break and everyone's bumper looks like a Jackson Pollock. Lanes are painted, but no one uses them and just packs in. 4 cars wide on a 2 lane road. Driving 1 mile takes 45 minutes. The traffic moves so slowly, the joke is "You can get delivery faster than you can get an ambulance." And everyone delivers by the way. I could have broken my leg, called an ambulance and a KFC, ordered a "spicy shrimp wrap" which I saw advertised by an Egyptian Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow impersonator, and finish it before the ambulance ever got to my street.
The traffic wasn't terribly annoying though, because it gave me time to take it all in. It was tourism gold. But it didn't work. Driving around Cairo represents a failed, or faltering system. I was so grateful for ODOT when I got home, that I didn't even balk at the ticket that awaited my return. Apparently in the pre-Christmas fury, I ran a yellow light. I'm not going to say that I would have donated the money on my own, but as I walked in to the Beaverton Municipal Court to pay the fine, my frustrations were assuaged by the knowledge that at least I was supporting, albeit forcefully, a system that works for its people. That system is broken in Egypt, and money has a hard time getting where it's supposed to go, if you know what I mean.
Another really clear memory - They thought I brought a bomb to the hotel. Wait, it's not quite as Mission Impossible as it sounds. I got a frenzy of really frantic calls one day about a package, sent to my name, that was scanning all black except for what looked like wires. Actually, what was more likely was that someone had caught wind that an NGO was hosting an event at the hotel and they had tried to smuggle a bomb through using my name. Anyway, three big dudes in suits intercepted me in the lobby and escorted me outside to the scanner. They all hovered while I explained that I had no idea what was in the package. They were very professionally lighthearted, but I could tell were only slightly amused by my wit and charm. And I'm pretty damn charming and witty sometimes, so I don't know what the hell that was about . . . Sure enough, we looked at the scan and it came up completely dark except for what looked like thousands of wires around the edges. When they asked if they could open the package in front of me, I tried to veil my quiet panic. Remember only a few days ago, the SCAF had raided a bunch of NGO offices.
So I'll color the picture again for you. Me, a box and three giant security representatives without necks. All smiling politely and suspiciously at me, dressed in designer suits. All in front of a major 5 star hotel on the main drag in Cairo. Also, the opening dinner of the conference was scheduled to start in two hours. Also, all our Execs and Board members were arriving in front of me as this was going down. Also, I was already super stressed. Also, I peed a little. They sliced open the package with a box cutter, which I thought was a tad reckless under the circumstances. The one guy reached in and pulled out hand fulls of red rubber bracelets. Like the Live Strong bracelets, only these were a gender awareness promotion item. They say "Use a Gender Approach" on them. The image of the giant security professional, giggling at me with a hand full of bracelets is something I will probably hold on to for a long while.
I'll also probably hold on to my final evening in Cairo. I went to dinner with a couple co-workers who live in Colombia, and another who lives in Haiti. I dragged them all to a really fabulous restaurant on the Nile. It's called Sequoia. If you're ever there, it's open air, on the tip of Zamalek, the weather is almost always great and the food is actually fairly priced and smacked of Egyptian tradition.
Also joining us were a couple of local guys who had studied in the States. One of which was working for then presidential candidate, Abdel-Moneim Abul-Fotouh from the Muslim Brotherhood. It was wonderful picking their brains. They both apologized for the traffic, and tried to convince me that the media was misrepresenting the dangers in Cairo. I, again, told them not to be concerned. That I was familiar with the phenomenon. They then said "No. Seriously . . . " and launched another campaign for Egypt. Apparently they didn't believe that I believed them.
We jumped on politics for a little while and I was most interested in the presidential race. I was surprised when the one said that, yes he thought the candidate he was working for should be elected, but he was also adamant that it should only be for one term.. When I asked why, it was explained to me that whether it should or it shouldn't be, religion was VERY important in Egypt. That people found safety and security in Islam. That even though many Egyptians do not practice, or do not observe Islam at all, they would still be inclined to support an Islamic presidential candidate, because it guaranteed something about the candidates morals and ethics.
I really don't want to get political with this blog, because that's not what it's about, but I think many Americans, if they were truly honest with themselves, would make the same observation about the role Christianity plays in our election process. Even now, as we're working on selecting a Republican candidate. I feel like I've uncovered what might be a universal human proclivity. Whether it's Christianity or Islam, if the man has religion, he has our trust. I know we are kicking up a lot of dust around this "Islamist leader" thing in the States, due in large part to our paranoia about sharia law. But do you think for a second that a candidate would stand a chance in America if he were to claim to be Athiest? Or Agnostic? Not a snowball's chance in imaginary hell. And on the topic of sharia law, it's a vague comparison, but would we ever elect a President who was, say for example, Pro Gay Marriage, Pro Choice, Pro Legalize-it? If you've just shrugged or given a non-committal "maybe" noise, you're friggin dumb. And apparently Egypt is no different.
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the revolution in Egypt and there was a ton of editorializing on how far Egypt hasn't come. How there is still a long road ahead. Well I have news for you all: In the American quest for Democracy, we're not doing too well either my friends. It would be a mistake to point the finger and tell the Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Syrians . . . to use us as the glowing example. And I know you've thought about it. Stop it.
To sum up my three weeks in Egypt, I learned a ton, I ate a lot, I now know that I really like molokhia (I'm not recommending it to ANYONE else though because it's basically plant snot) and I don't think I'm going back to Egypt for tourist purposes for at least another 20 years. I'm kind of stoked to see what they do with the next 20 years though.
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