First Impressions in Harare
My first impression of Zimbabwe is that every
single child is adorable. On the plane from Jo-burg I was absolutely taken
aback by the handful of children aboard and I wondered to myself “Self, do you
think you have just stumbled into the cast of Sesame Street Zimbabwe? Or are
all parents in Zimbabwe gifted with positively cherubian children?” And as if
the universe sought to irrevocably answer my question, it saw fit to time my
drive into Harare as school got out. An LO! The streets were lined with the
kids. Kids in green, blue and red school uniforms. Kids you would pick first
for kickball. Kids you wouldn’t dream of denying desert before dinner. In fact,
I have approved the following phrases exclusively for use in Zimbabwe:
“Would you like a 17th cookie?”
“Yes, you may absolutely have a
piggy-back ride!”
“I would LOVE to babysit on a Saturday night!
You don’t know how late you’ll be? Totally fine.”
“You would like to bump my classroom size up
to 45? Fabulous!”
“Your child needs a kidney? Well, I’ve got
two!! And a liver I rarely use anymore, should you find yourself in need of a
loaf.”
Generally I am not one of those adults that
needs a child to like me. A steely reserve born from 14 years of working with
entitled Metro-area suburbanites and their offspring. But my defenses are
useless here. If I were to teach here I would be quite the push over.
Anyway, my formal apologies to all the
parents of Zimbabwe. I will try very hard not to stare.
Beyond this, I find myself making crude
comparisons between Harare and Cairo. I’m painting with broad strokes to be sure,
fair warning. But it seems that Harare enjoys a general rule of law and benign
citizenry, elements I saw less of in Egypt. Which is interesting because both
Zimbabwe and Egypt operate with high-level corruption and a 30+ year history of
authoritarian “democracy.”
If Robert Mugabe and Hosni Mubarak were ever
found together at a dinner party, I imagine they would have a lot in common.
Both came to power in the early 80’s (Mugabe in 1980, Mubarak in 1981) under
questionable circumstances. Mubarak was serving as Vice President at the time
of his predecessor’s assassination. Whilst Mugabe, a fairly prominent military
and political figure at the time, threatened violence and chaos if he were
denied the seat of Prime Minister.
Both attempted “honest and transparent”
multi-candidate elections in the last decade. And both secured their executive
seat creatively. Mubarak had the top opposing candidate, Ayam Nour, convicted of
forgery and sentenced to 5 years hard labor. Efficient, no? By colorful
contrast, Mugabe saw the writing on the wall during the preliminary election,
which he lost 43.2% to 47.9% to opposition candidate, Mr. Tsvangirai. With some
heavy politicking and his famous CIBD (Coercion, Intimidation, Beatings and
Displacement) campaign, he was able to squeak out a victory in the runoff.
85.5% - 9.3%.
Charming.
The parallels between Mugabe and Mubarak’s
rule run deep, and probably reflect many an authoritarian
democracy/dictatorship. Some things are subtler than others. Yesterday Mugabe’s
visage was all over the airport. Mubarak’s had largely been scraped off the face
of Cairo, but the remnants are certainly there as a keen reminder. I would like
to know exactly what happens inside the mind of an authoritarian dictator which
makes them universally decide “You know what? I don’t think any one person
should go a full 3 hours without seeing my face.”
And yet in January 2011 the people of Egypt
ousted Mubarak in a violent uprising. He has been sentenced to life in prison.
Where as I’ve heard a few times now that people of Zimbabwe are just “waiting
for Mugabe to die.”
The headline on the front page, above the
fold of today’s paper read “The President is My Best Friend.” I shall be
approaching periodicals here with healthy skepticism from now on.
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